Do you know your Spirit Animal?

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Mine came to me in the form of a dozen or more Sand Hawks swirling twenty feet or so above my head.

Sand Hawks make their home along Mexico’s West Coast in the Puerto Vallarta region where I live. I never noticed them until a friend of mine passed away in November of 2011. I live a rich spiritual/metaphysical/healing life and have worked with Shamans to cure the incurable. But I’d never really thought about totem animals until a visit to Sedona in 2008. After that I was more aware of their presence and messages but once back in Mexico in 2009, I hadn’t been adopted by the various totems that inhabit my area–at least none had made their presence known until that morning in 2011.

At first, I was shaken. These sand hawks could have around 4-5 feet wingspan. Imagine twenty or so swirling up above me as I walked to my car in the lot behind my condo. I have my own theory on why they came into my world at that precise moment. First of all, my friend was a warrior, a Navy SEAL. He didn’t die in the line of duty–I don’t think but I can’t say for sure because he was in another country. I believe he sent them to me to let me know that he was guarding my life, from another world. At least that’s my interpretation.

They visited me often for months. And then they would disappear soaring somewhere else around the Bay of Banderas. I noticed in the last several months, they’ve been missing. This morning they came back.

Hawk spirit animals invite us to be focused in our daily undertakings. When you feel the presence of the hawk totem, avoid distractions and focus on the task at hand.

At the same time, hawks can soar and fly high in the sky. This animal has the power to provide support in gaining a higher level perspective on any issue or project you undertake. When the hawk appears in your life, it’s perhaps time to be less distracted by the details and focus on the higher perspective. Relying on the hawk power, you can see what’s ahead clearly and defy any obstacles that may be on your way. A specific way the hawk guidance works is to use a high level and yet clear and focused vision to guide your action.

Hawks symbolize the power of observation. This spirit animal’s guidance may also indicate that you have the opportunity to study a situation before taking action. Observe the situation and then act when the time is right.

The hawk spirit animal is associated with the power of vision. If you have the hawk as a totem, you have or are developing the ability to see clearly and have strong visions. Perhaps, you even use clairvoyant skills to support your goals in life and communication with others.

In numerous traditions, the hawk has a strong relationship with the world of the gods. Some of this symbolism has persisted in modern mythology and beliefs. In Ancient Egypt, the belief was that a hawk-headed spirit called “ba” would fly off a mummy to come back among the living as a hawk or swallow. The hawk symbolized a part of the soul that would be freed up after death and come back to the world of the living in the shape of a bird. It was also the animal of choice for the god Horus, god of the sky, who was represented with a hieroglyph depicting a falcon or hawk.

Welcome back, my friend. I’ve missed you.







Stay and Die



Stay and Die



I woke up angry today

if you knew how I really felt

who I really am

(crazy sometimes)

would you still

want to play with me?


(would you delete me?)


I woke up afraid

hating my dream

analyzing the meaning

of panic




loose change and broken ATM’s

never catching up

peeing in strange bathrooms

on the floor

a man with a child in his arms


in my dreams (my reality?)

I am in a hurry

and yet

I pause to apply lipstick



in the mirror a woman

looks back, fear, pain, panic



girls ask me a question

in my purse is the answer

is it the rotting fruit you want?


I compose words

a speech I must give

tender words

sincere words

lonely words


maybe I don’t want to talk


it’s a maze

(my life I think)

I will be late

(because it’s not my time to join you or maybe it is)


I can see

a reflection of myself

this yellow skirt

too short

too sexy

for my mother’s






Is your inner voice out of control?

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I write the story in combination with a voice that I don’t want to control. Sometimes the words that flow out of my stories shock me, make me smile, and even make me cry. That’s why I have to write. I think in story form. I see mystery and plots in everything. My inner life is so rich with wonder that I lay awake at night because my mind doesn’t want to go to sleep.

Having said that, in one of my novellas The Lei Crime Series: NARCO ORPHANS (Kindle Worlds Novella) got its title from an event that crept onto my page in the middle of a Federale attack on a drug cartel base in the mountains. It was not in the plot at all; but suddenly… Magic.

Are there times when I wonder if the story I’ve written will find it’s audience? Yes, that lack of confidence happens. So I used a different editor for my current WIP. It was outside my comfort zone to publish a novel that explored sexuality in a way I’d never done before. I asked her to read it and tell me if it was good enough to be published. I was okay with sidelining the novel (it was written a couple of years ago) and not putting-it-out-there. This is what she wrote: I LOVED this story. It was engrossing, fun, emotional, sexy, and even a little unnerving at times. It was perfect!

I write memoir/suspense/action/romantic suspense and recently got nominated for Best Contemporary Book by BTRC2017 for Target In The Sun (Carlos & Mia Book 1). I have a fan base and I never want to disappoint them. With this latest novel, I will attract a wider fan base. The book is totally sexual and has adult content. It unnerved me at times as well.

But in the end, as a writer, I put myself out there, my heart on my sleeve and ask my fans to love my work. Some will, some won’t, and that’s okay.

Are You a Misfit?

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That made me smile. I’ve always used a different word: Loner. I love my own company and always have. I read/write/do photography/travel/work. I’ve never been the ‘clingy’ girlfriend. And I have to tell you unless it’s a personal attack on my nature, heart, the core of who I am, I don’t give a damn what people think.

I live alone and like it a lot. The people who are in my life are fully aware that I chose to “misfit” into the real world. I’m a poet/writer/artist/dreamer/lover and I don’t want to change my happy state and life. So I warn friends in advance that I will say ‘no’ to most activities for no particular reason. I’m not a party person. Give me a one-on-one deep conversation about life, and love and passion and you’ve got my attention.

I will not fight with you, disagree on your politics nor steal your boyfriend or husband. On the other hand, I don’t want to hear about your self-induced problems: your faulty marriage, the job you hate, or the disappointments in your life. I am not that sympathetic friend. Now if you’re having a torrid love affair, an online fling, or have fired your boss, I might listen. I believe we are all responsible for our own happiness. It’s not the responsibility of society, our spouse, our bf or our families to make us happy.

When you live the way I do, when you choose to misfit, if you’re unhappy you have only one person to blame—yourself!

Do you agree??



Authors and Readers, What do you think?


As a professional novelist, are there “rough patches” in your books that you accept aren’t as good or interesting as others or do you keep working until you polish every bit of prose to the same degree?

In the writing of a manuscript, the answer to this would be yes, the latter. I insist that the experience my reader has is 100% the best entertainment I can provide. I write, for the most part, in the mystery, romantic suspense genre. I can’t leave any holes. I also write with several characters so there may be more than one plot line. I like short chapters. I keep my readers moving at a fast pace. Well, you can tell that just from the way I answer your question.

First I plot on Excel. If a plot line is not up to par, it gets deleted. I’m brutal with myself. I’d rather write a novella that’s good than a novel that has chapters or ‘rough patches’ that will take away from your enjoyment as my reader. I can tell you that a reviewer will catch your rough patches and call you on them.

I received a MS back from my editor this evening. I told her to be totally honest: If you don’t like it or have areas that need work or total re-writing, tell me. I want to know how my readers will experience this book. So her job is to challenge me if my work is crap.

I haven’t opened it yet to see what changes she made. But in this particular case, by the time I sent the MS to my editor, it was edited 4 times by me. The topic is male prostitution in Puerto Vallarta Mexico so there is sex in this book—more than I would normally write. I was feeling insecure, not wanting the work to be smutty or erotic. I prefer that it be classified as Contemporary having adult content.

This is what she said:

Anyways, I LOVED this story. It was engrossing, fun, emotional, sexy, and even a little unnerving at times. It was perfect!

It’s interesting that she said ‘unnerving’ because that’s EXACTLY the experience I had when some of the stories flowed through me onto the page. Each adjective she used to describe the book is the tone I wanted to achieve. Now when I open it tomorrow, there may yet be things I will change. That’s the way I work.

But professional writing is a learning process too. So don’t be too hard on yourself. If you know there are rough patches, my advice would be to shelve the manuscript for a few months. Then go back to it and delete the parts that suck. It feels good to delete whole pages. I did it with this book and I liked the feeling. I said to myself: I can do much better than this, gone!

If you’re taking the time to read my work it better be the best that I can possibly deliver.


On another note, I want to thank Book Talk Radio Club for nominating TARGET in the SUN for Best Contemporary Novel of 2017! Thanks for the honor!! If you haven’t read it yet, here’s what reviewers are saying:

“Gripping and suspenseful, clever and sharp, Target in the Sun is a romantic thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat. I enjoyed the format, telling parts of the story through letters. I also enjoyed how smoothly it read, the type of book that sucks you in. Highly recommended.”

“WOW, what a journey! I couldn’t wait to continue with the second, ‘Vanished in the Sun’. I read both in 2 days, and I’m totally exhausted now with all the action in the fight against the drug cartels, love, Mexican cultural knowledge and the beautifully descriptive word paintings of Western Mexico, especially the amazing sunsets! The super-secret off-the-grid organization keeping watch over these characters is “Genius! Very intriguing! Can’t wait for #3!

What things in life you should never take for granted?



  1. Never take for granted your best friend and lover—even when he pisses you off!! Because he could end up living in a hospital on life support, like mine.
  2. Your beauty—learn very early that beauty comes from inside. If you think it’s external you will never be happy.
  3. LOVE—take it often, give it all the time, and never ever forget that you are enough. If you don’t learn to love yourself, you might as well quit right now.
  4. Family and friendships. They may not be here for your entire life, but while they are, tell them you love them. Never miss an opportunity to say, “I love you!”
  5. Your life. As we have all seen by recent events in the US and around the world, natural disasters and man-made horrific events can take our lives away in an instant. Truly live each moment as if it’s your last and never stop making a positive difference in the lives around you.