You’ve got to be kidding me!

Screen Shot 2018-05-26 at 9.18.50 AM

 

Lynda Filler
Lynda Filler, Writer, Novelist, Top QUORA Writer 2018 at Lynda Filler Author (2009-present)

Interesting assumption. I think you might have missed the point of the investigation. As of his entry into the Manhattan Court House yesterday, he had something like 50 accusers. Personally, I watch, read and try to forget what’s going on. If you read my profile, I’m from the generation before all this happened. And believe me, it happened in my generation all the time. No one talked about it.

Most of the women who have spoken up were actually in a forced situation. Yes, some went ahead with it and I will explain that in a moment. But many ran away. Many left in a hurry. Many were backed into a corner by an extremely large man. How do you think you react to 250 lbs of aggression against 116 lbs? Power against a nobody, someone who’s career stands at the mercy of the MOST powerful man in Hollywood. Do you give in? Or try to run? When the thought runs through your mind that his enablers know exactly what is going on, so if you scream NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. And if you fight back, you’re banned forever from following your dreams. Just think about what kind of “consent” that entails.

The first time for me I was on a double date. We got separated as couples and my date and I were at a park ‘talking’. It was midnight. He tried to rape me. Thank God he believed my story (I said I had my period) and the promise to meet up the following week. I was 18 and he was a police officer of 24. It was in Ottawa Canada many many years ago. If something had happened, who would I complain to?

The second time, I was a very sad and frightened about-to-be-divorced 22-year-old woman at her lawyers. My ex had tried to smother me in a fit of anger. We were married for 6 months. But I saw a pattern and I ran out and never returned. That was traumatic enough. But when I went to sign my divorce documents, my divorce lawyer had his brother with him (another lawyer). It turned out that “I” was part of the payment for their divorce services.

I can go on if you’d like. My generation did nothing, said nothing because nothing would have been the result of a complaint. Imagine me accusing a police officer or two lawyers, or a photographer when I started modeling, or a business owner when I worked as a buyer for his 10 stores…

Do you want to know where I was for the year before I married? I became a missionary nun! I was Catholic and very religious. But the contemplative life was not for me for several reasons. There was no #MeToo movement in my day. The last thing any of us would have done was file a complaint.

So don’t tell me about consent, or partial consent or culpability. Tell me about compassion, and understanding and love. Tell me you can understand and for one single moment imagine that you have a daughter forced into a sexual act. There is no love, no desire, no agreement. There is absolutely fucking nothing except ‘get it over with and let me go’.

And that’s all I can say about the whole thing because I refuse to live with the anger and pain it caused in my life.

Although I do believe it led to a series of painful and worthless years of emptiness and a lifetime of looking for real love.

 

LOVE The Beat Goes On  If you are curious about my life and why my one word is  #LOVE

Advertisements

More Alive Than Ever

This is a very special review and I wanted to share it. Thank you Gabriel Constans for your very kind words.

Gabriel Constans

Love: The Beat Goes On by Lynda Filler.
Reviewed by Gabriel Constans.

51JCGXkVO9LHer life was flying, her heart was dying. Lynda Filler had a new job, loving family, and an almost too good to be true newly acquainted man she called “my cowboy”. There’d been for-warnings, “messages”, shortness of breath, but nothing really stopped her in her tracks (literally) until 2008 when she is told she has a form of congestive heart failure called dilated cardiomyopathy. Doctors told her it was a death sentence and she must “get your affairs in order”. Nine years later, after driving alone for many months between Canada and Mexico, visiting a shaman in Sedona, New Mexico, and realizing, “I was the change that needed to happen in my healing”, she wrote Love: The Beat Goes On. She’s more alive than ever.

I worked with hospice and bereavement programs for many years. Most people…

View original post 359 more words

Stephen King-Love What You Do

Screen Shot 2018-05-14 at 12.47.00 AM

Yes, I love to share my TOP 10 Lists from Evan Carmichaels YouTube Videos.

Today, it’s Stephen King. If you are a writer, aspiring author or a creative of any type, I think you will love his book On Writing. It’s the one that has influenced me most in my life. I bought it as a gift for my son when he was 15 and showed an interest in writing. He read it and then said, “Mom, you need to read this.” I did, and it’s been my bible ever since. Today I share Stephen King with you. If you click on the link, you can watch the video.

And now, here’s Stephen King’s Top 10 RULES FOR SUCCESS

  1. LOVE WHAT YOU DO
  2. BE YOURSELF
  3. EXPLORE NEW IDEAS
  4. THE GOOD IDEA STAYS WITH YOU
  5. LOVE THE PROCESS
  6. LEARN FROM REJECTIONS
  7. LOOK FOR IDEAS YOU ENJOY
  8. FIND YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS
  9. PASS SOMETHING ON
  10. TELL GREAT STORIES. 

The ones that resonate with me are #2 Be Yourself. I’ve finally gotten over myself and write what I want. Which leads me to #5 Love the Process–even when you’re stuck like I’ve been all day today. UNTIL…that magic moment when the plot reveals itself.

And I also find motivation by reminding myself that my job is #10 Tell Great Stories.

If you have a favorite, share it. And check out Evan Carmichael’s channel. You won’t be disappointed.

Have an exciting, exhilarating, and creative week.

 

Lynda Filler’s most recent novel:  Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money

 

Almost There

Screen Shot 2018-05-12 at 9.07.25 AM

Image may be subject to ©

green intense

light of love

heart love

pulsating

tears rolling down

the pale blue window

inside my mind’s eye

the right side, a film playing

over

and over again

 

heart pain silent relentless

take it away I beg

make it go away

 

intense lights bright

smiles and miles of warmth

take me, please

take me there

take me into his arms

let me touch his hair

let my lips brush his cheek

let me smile with him

let me feel his love

 

straw fields break through

electric blue sky

closer, closer I beg

I can feel I’m almost there

 

swirling turquoise water, is that ocean?

is this what your home is like?

will you take me there

 

are those people I see

wait, talk to me, don’t leave yet

I’m almost there

Mom, can you bring me over

yes, I can feel your smile

don’t you love him too?

 

I know my dream is over

the sun is heating up my room

my left side wants to fly

my right, dead weight here

 

I walked with a child

he was sad and sullen

I took his hand

and told him to dance with me

he smiled and twirled

 

and then he was no longer there

 

on an edge of a bathtub

you sat with me

a stranger holding a gun

told us to get inside

our time was up

it was time to die

 

I felt no fear

I was ready to go

I would follow you anywhere

 

© Almost There, I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler Poet

 

Mate(d)

 

heart-3367962_1920

Pixabay Image

Mate(d)

 

I reserve my right

to love you

to mate with you

in wild and wondrous ways

to hold you sacred 

to enter into an affair 

heart

mind

body

and soul

 

I reserve my right

to fill your empty spaces

with joy and laughter and friendship

 

I promise 

I will never leave you

nor hurt you

nor steal your heart

 

I reserve my right 

to love you unconditionally

against all sense of time 

and space

and culture 

and taboos

without fear 

of loneliness

of heartbreak

 

and when the time comes

I promise

I will let you go

 

© Mate(d) 2018 Lynda Filler

 

Rooms

 

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 11.26.30 PM

Rooms

 

my heart has many rooms

and in these rooms

I find old stories

sadness, pain, loss

and incredible moments

of joy

and love

 

I would not (ex)change

the lows

for were they not

a high waiting to happen?

were they not a fearful no

aching to become a jubilant yes!

 

if I fill my heart

with love(s)

one day I am sure

there will be no room

for bad

or sad

and (love) memories will sustain me

as I find my way Home

 

© Rooms, I (Spy) Love  Lynda Filler

Screen Shot 2017-09-11 at 4.40.39 PMI (Spy) Love

 

The Art of Love

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 7.13.57 PM

The Art of Love

 

a moments rest

time to digest

the thoughts of him

his illness

my Love

so long ago

and yet

always clear

present

and near

 

words

uninvited

the sound of his voice teasing

knowing that something

was not

quite

right

 

the solemn day

rushes up to me

grabs my heart

squeezes old tears

demands of me

an/swer/s (to questions) I don’t want to hear

 

what are you doing sweet heart

there is an art to love

have you been asleep

throughout your life

are you too busy

looking for Love

to follow the rules?

 

there is no logic to Love, I respond

it cannot be dissected

ana/lyz/ed

filed

it does not fit

into

patterns

principles and strategies

there are no rules

to Love

 

the art is in the Loving

in the selflessness

in the joy of knowing

your beloved feels safe

and loved

 

the Art is in the Love

 

and for this Love

I would do anything

 

and so

I do nothing

 

© The Art of Love, I (Spy) Love 

 

12004060_783190218494392_1032769522106063191_n

 

How did your marriage end?

 

Which one?

I’m the eternal optimist. I tried 3 times to get it right. All I got right was that happiness is more important than success, prestige, or money.

The first time I married because my very first boyfriend waited for me while I ran off to become a missionary nun—stop laughing, read my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On . Yes, I felt guilty. When I returned a year later, I married him—I do remember a fight in the parking lot where I threw my engagement ring across the pavement. That was probably a big clue that I chose to ignore.

Six months later, we were having one of our frequent arguments. He tried to smother me with a pillow. I was 20 years old. I left with my suitcase the next day. Divorced at 21.

My second brilliant choice was a man 15 years older than me, suave, handsome, a traveler, sophisticated…and a gambler, and a control freak. Yes. I didn’t throw that diamond ring anywhere—he stole it and pawned it presumably because he needed the money to gamble. I left him several times, but he kept finding me. He got me fired from a job, evicted from an apartment, actually broke into my apartment telling the landlord I was a drug addict and not answering my phone! I’ve never even smoked a joint although my friends tell me I don’t know what I’m missing.

I left him in the middle of the night, with a suitcase, and my Old English Sheepdog. I definitely loved the dog more than the man. He’d threatened to kill the dog if I left him.I had to leave the city and the province to hide from him. My mother called me one day a few years later and said I better divorce the guy. He’d just been arrested for bank fraud and probably forged my name somewhere along the way.

The third one lasted a long time. He’s the father of my children and we are still friends. But one night at the end of a very unhappy relationship where we kept trying to make it work, I fell in love. I packed a suitcase and got on an airplane and moved to a new country. I’d like to say I lived happily ever after. But that’s not the way life is. That journey called life/living/ is filled with ups and downs. Some of us get lucky and find Mr. Right and others only ever find Mr. Right Now.

And then, when you think that part of your life might be passing you by, someone comes into your life, a totally inappropriate relationship, not from a different city, or a different province, or a different country but a totally different continent and reminds you that life is short. We have to take our happiness where we can find it.

The moral of my story is I still believe in LOVE.

What things should one be good at in order to become a good writer?

Lynda Filler
Lynda Filler, Top Quora Writer 2018 Winner of Best in Contemporary Fiction 2017 BTRC at Writers and Authors (2009-present)

Be Brave. You have to be able to open your heart and pour out your feelings. It doesn’t matter what genre you’re in. Let it flow. Be Brave.

Be Bulletproof. Some people choose not to read their reviews. I read them and on Goodreads thank the writers. But I still remember words used to describe my first JET, an action ex-Mossad female assassin. A reader said I’d turned her into a “horny slut.” Today I laugh, then, it wasn’t funny. I thought I “humanized” her. Don’t let the haters get inside your head.

Be Curious. It doesn’t matter what. It’s curiosity that has kept me traveling the world in my stories. I LOVE taking my characters to different places in my work whether it’s action or contemporary romance. They live in my mind and I live in their worlds. It’s great fun and takes me to places I didn’t know exist. My current WIP starts off in Kyrgyzstan, moves to Paris, then the Maldives… and on and on. Research, photos, travel, it’s all part of my curiosity about people, places, and issues.

Be Passionate. Don’t write it if you aren’t enjoying the words and the process. A friend recently told me he trashed 87 chapters. Now for me, that would be 100k but for him, it could be 250–300k words. That’s a lot of work and love to decide it’s not worthy of finishing.

Be Gentle. Writing is not for the faint of heart. Believe in yourself. Love what you do. Let no one be a bully to your talent or your belief in you. Self-talk is key in any work/game/sport/job.

And most of all, remember the Little Engine That Could, if you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t…you’re probably right.