What is Love?

 

This is very personal… I wrote it this morning in honor of my bf of several years who has been hospitalized for a long long long time. He’s dying. But I will never give up hope.
What is love? Let me count the ways.
the moments throughout my day when I think about you and hope you’re not in pain
the six months when you were in a coma and I never heard from you but I NEVER gave up hope
the times when I do something, write something and think “G would like this” or “G wouldn’t like this.” The love/hate thing that exists in all love relationships
the way I think of you early in the morning and last thing at night
the way I laugh when another man tries to get my attention…. I shake my head and say to myself “G is an impossible act to follow”
the way I feel close to you, it’s like I talk to you and you’re not even here, but I feel as if you hear me
the way I sit in moments like right now, with many things to do and all I want to do is write to you
the way I long to go to Venice again but keep hoping for a miracle so that we can make that trip together and you can teach me about Opera and I can write poetry about love
the three books of poetry inspired by you, and a writing career that you gave me the strength to pursue
its the way I know that you would be my fierce protector if things were different
its the way everything I write, my determination to succeed, the photos I take, and the paintings I do are all done with you in the back of mind, always in honor of the things you can no longer do
it’s the way you took my hand one day when we first started seeing each other and we were walking down the street near Hotel Monaco, and I said to myself “I have a boyfriend”
the way not a moment has gone by since I met you—except when you piss me off—when I haven’t wished I was Your One, the One person you wanted by your side
the way I know that in a heart beat I’d give the life I know up to be by your side until “death do us part”

DSCN7011
but I knew, from the moment I saw your smile and looked into your eyes that you were the crazy one I’d been waiting for my whole life

 

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One thought on “What is Love?

  1. Don MacIver, RPA, Editor, Writer, Poet, Author says:

    This is beautiful, Lynda. How strong of you to share this publicly. I’m so sorry for the circumstances you have faced. This speaks volumes to something much greater than any of us can manifest or in any way try to influence toward a happy or fully understandable conclusion. For ‘G’s’ sake, I will maintain best wishes for his medical outcome. We can come to terms with what appears the inevitable yet how do we possibly let go to something so deep within us?

    Your chosen path delivers faith and reassurance, a loving dedication to that familiar ‘matrimonial’ vow, and the purest energy that binds you together that your dear friend can hold close to heart for his time remaining. Keep the hope for a miracle that would bring him back to you. Print out and preserve this writing ‘What is Love?’ for someday you may have the opportunity to once again be by his side and share with him what he really must come to see, hear and know.

    Like

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